Monday, December 31, 2012

Daddy's 12 of 2012


2012 was pretty amazing for me, so I thought "Why not blog about how faboo the year has been with 12 amazing things that happened?"  But for those of you who know me, I feel a need to put a negative, sarcastic spin on almost everything.  Okay, everything.  So, I decided to mix it up and blog about 12 things from 2012 that either made my life amazing or that I'll be leaving behind as we enter 2013.  Fun, right?! 

So, let's start with the good stuff, shall we? 

iPad.  How did I live without you?
Pyrex Food Storage Containers, 12 Piece Set Storage Plus
Yay for glass food storage! This has nothing to do with the bad press about BPA plastic. People need to stop that ridiculousness. This has everything to do with the sunglasses principal. I lose and break cheap sunglasses, however if they are expensive, I don't. So, now that we have nicer, expensive food storage, it seems to make it home from work everyday. 





Classic Margaritas.  I make the best, and they are nothing fussy or fancy.
3 oz. Cuervo Gold tequila
2 oz. triple sec
1 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
margarita salt
sliced lime for garnish

Use your lime garnish to wet the rim of the glass.  Salt the rim.   Fill glass with ice.  Shake tequila, triple sec, and lime juice with ice.  Strain into glass and enjoy!  This made my summer so much better.  Salty, sweet, sour, and earthy.  My new drink of choice for a kiki at 2421!
Our April cruise on the Carnival Destiny.  It forced me to relax and unplug from work, something I'm terrible at.  I enjoyed every moment of time I shared with Timmy and surprisingly, enjoyed cruising.  The boat was rode hard and put away wet (I'm so funny) and cruising on Carnival is like floating around the ocean on a giant, buoyant K-Mart, but a pleasurable experience anyway.
Laundry.
Caldrea (www.caldrea.com) is life changing.  Green cleaning products and body care items.  My favorite is the laundry detergent and fabric softener.  I don't shut up about this stuff.  The Sea Salt Neroli (yellow bottle) is the best scent ever.  And a little plug for Inspirations Bath & Kitchen Studio - the only place you can get this stuff in Harrisburg (www.InspirationsHarrisburg.com).


If you ever need a slightly distracted, unsympathetic friend, I'm here for you.
I moved from my hometown 8 years ago, and I have finally established some great friendships in Harrisburg.  You know who you are.  Thank you for understanding and accepting my crazy.

I was finally able to shed a lot of my personal baggage and hang ups this year.  Crap from my ex, that weird stuff I hung onto from my parents and middle school, fear of failure, etc.  You all know what I'm talking about, so stop looking around the room like you don't!  We all have crap that we drag around until it becomes too heavy to handle.


And now for the things that 2012 can take with, as the world goes up in a fiery ball of flames.



Ah, hell.  I hate these things.  I know, these are ugly.  And no, yours aren't cute.  They make your legs look short, and all too often your baby toe ends up on the wrong side of a strap so it looks as if you're wearing them on the wrong feet.  Nasty.  Poor baby toe.  This could stem from the fact that I, in general, hate feet.  Oh, how I hate feet.

Nuf said.
Bottled water.  We no longer have it at home.  Most new refrigerators have a water filter built in anyway.  We abandoned this concept at home in 2012.  As much as I hate on it, bottled water does indeed have a place in our lives.  For instance, we have it in the studio for clients because it is sealed and easily held while working a project.  But for the most part, it has become the scarlet letter of laziness.
Can oil rubbed bronze plumbing just die already?  (This looks amazing on a cheap stainless steel sink, BTW.)  I am so tired of it, and it makes every faucet look awful.  I will continue to smile and sell it because I understand that it is popular, however that doesn't mean I have to like it.

And lastly, there is no picture for this one.  Abusive people.  Whether you beat your spouse, yell at your mother, shoot a bunch of innocent children, raise dogs for fighting, or simply abuse my time as a professional, please hop on the express train to the end of the world.  I am done with you.  The world will be a better place without you.

Deep breath.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Turmoil in Alcatraz

I am a total, unabashed foodie.  Me loves myself some delicious, unique food preceeded and followed by tasty drinks.  I especially like it when I don't have to make it.

Walking into a restaurant, I absorb the atmosphere.  The dim lighting to make everyone look younger.  The fresh music at the perfect volume.  The tailored design of the space.  Shiny glasses, twinkling candles, and the heavy aroma wafting from the kitchen.   

I love sitting down to peruse the signature cocktail menu.  A French 75?   Not tonight.   I'll have The Bees Knees with organic local honey and two limes.  Ooh...and look at that beet and parsnip salad with toasted hazelnuts and goat cheese.  I'll have that too.  How fun is this! 


Drinks just came.  Perfectly garnished and taste amazing!  The local honey makes all the difference.  I swear!  Excuse me, I need to powder my nose.


Holy...what just happened?!  Did I accidentally leave through a back door and end up in the bathroom at a quicky mart in Compton?  I could throw up.  However, it is too disgusting in here to do so.  I have to tinkle so bad, but I can hold it.  They call this a restroom?  The only thing resting is that festering disease on the toilet seat.  Uck.

WAIT A HOT MINUTE!  You're charging me $15 for a glass of watered down Gin and what you claim to be "local" honey but you provide me, your guest, with a restroom from Alcatraz? 

I bet this happens to all you, more frequently than you realize, and you never say a word.  I know I never do.  Why?!  We aren't paying for food only, as you do at a grocery store.  We are paying for food, service, and above anything else, an experience.  Otherwise, that glass of gin, honey, and lime juice would set us back about $2. 

I encourage all of you to take another look at that bathroom next time you're at your favorite watering hole.  (Pun TOTALLY INTENDED.)  Why are they so neglected and forgotten?  It might be an indicator of what the kitchen looks like!  And if you decide to approach the manager about your turmoil in Alcatraz, please give him my contact information.  I'd be glad to help.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Hibiscus La Poire Fizz

I have started a tradition, mostly because I'm a lush. I kid. I mix drinks because its fun and they're pretty. Sort of the same reason I buy so many pairs of eyewear. Fun and pretty, right? I digress. Back to that tradition. We have a signature cocktail! Leave your beer at home and no, we don't have white zin. Normally, I concoct some great stuff, however this holiday, I did some real research! Mostly taste testing many different liqeuers and mixers. Funn! This is not your Sandra Lee (don't get me started) vodka, some juice and a ridiculously difficult to execute gingerbread and caramel rim filmed in a kitchen with holiday themed window treatments (you got me started). Nope, this one is simple, easy, and beautiful. And stupid expensive.

Hibiscus La Poire Fizz
1 oz. Grey Goose La Poire vodka (pear flavored)
1 oz. St. Germain elderflower liqueur
Dash hibiscus syrup (from jar of flowers)
4 oz. cheap Champagne
Wild hibiscus flower for garnish (Williams-Sonoma, of course)

Put one flower in the bottom of a simple champagne flute. Add vodka, St. Germain, and hibiscus syrup. Top with champagne and serve.

These went over great, even with the non-champagne drinkers.  Merry Christmas to all, and to all who drank too many, goodnight! 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What is this all about?

Well, well, well.  Here we are again.  Me and this BLOG thing.  I gave it a try twice before.  Once when Compaq computers sounded like a good idea and then again about a year ago when my dog made me do it.  Since those attempts I have been official diagnosed with ADD, making those false starts null and void.  I am a blogger reborn, if you will.  Yes, you'll see a second post this time.  (Hopefully.)  Yes, I'll maintain a list of things I want to write about so I don't turn into one of those Facebook unfriends that has nothing to say.  ("Off to the gym!" You know who you are.)  And no, I won't edit anything.  I've never had a filter, so why start now?  (I also talk in parethesis quite frequently.  It's usually the good stuff.)


Anyway...I'm looking forward to this.  My other half, Timothy, helped me with the title.  He's so full of it.  I don't have kids, just the best pups ever.  So, here's to Mister Rip and Real Nice Lady - I love you both so much.  Hopefully this blog thing makes me rich and Daddy can buy you lots of pigs ears.  (Those things are so nasty.  Especially when they're hairy.)

Mister Rip
AKA
Ripley Michael Frances
Real Nice Lady
AKA
Belle Simone